Blessed are the peacemakers, especially the fighting peacemakers.

    All I really have to say today is this: Don't rain on my parade.  Today has thus far been excellent in many categories, and I am currently reveling in that.  I anticipate reveling to continue for some time while I occupy myself with various hobbies I have had to replace with college activity, but it was all temporary.  Hooray!  

    And I've decided that I kind of like Melville, even if that white whale business was all very nihilist and depressing and somewhat long-winded.  "Billy Budd" is interesting, despite Herman's best efforts.

Enjoy your weekend! :D

<3 spadeALLcross

You can't take the sky from me.

    Last week was a bit intense due to a crazy five-day Japanese schedule (I lost my sleep-until-noon Wednesday...not happy about that) and some tests and meetings and papers and insanity such as that.  However, that week is over now, and I have begun another crazy couple of days, after which, hopefully, my week will slow down again.

    Monday last marked my first college test.  Or at least, I thought it was a test, and so freaked out sufficiently the night before when I saw it in my planner and began a scramble to shove all sorts of too-similar Japanese vocabulary words and phrases into my head.  As luck would have it, when I went to class, I saw no one else freaking out in their seats, and then he passed out the paper, and I saw why: in big letters across the top was the [English] word "Quiz."  Quiz.  Well, gee, if I had known that, I would not have had what was later referred to by my floor-mates as a nervous breakdown in the lobby the night before.  I mean sure, I guess I copied it into my planner wrong, but that's still just a sick joke.  

    10 questions.  I had memorized more than 50 japanese words and phrases.  Crap.  

    And that pretty much set the tone for the week.  As the days wore on, I proceeded to forget necessary class things in my room, skip lunch only to find I had run out of sustaining food days earlier, and sit in front of a blank screen for hours, trying to come up with a suitable beginning to my autobiography, and much much more.  

    Until Friday, when I just got so fed up I stopped trying.  Once classes were over, I made no attempt at homework, studying, or even thinking too much.  However, I still managed to have an uneventful night for the most part, breaking down boxes in the kitchen for an hour or so, then helping Christine wash and dry the dishes, then hanging around for a couple hours waiting for Theotherben to get back from Meijer so we could watch Serenity.

    And this is where things started getting interesting. [SPOILER ALERT]

    That movie doesn't have any down time; I swear it was a perpetual action scene or emotional climax.  Not to mention my favorite character dies in possibly the worst way a character is able die in a movie.  But what is worse is that someone I thought was a trustable source of Firefly-esque information turned out to be a no-good, low-down, double-crossing snake in the grass liar.  He told me that, and I quote, "One character dies."  And earlier on in the movie, one character does die, and it happens to be a character that I have no particular affinity for.  So I thought I was off the hook and was not going to lose anyone, you know, important.  

    But I did.  And I was a little frustrated at Bigben for that.

    Furthermore, I don't know what it is about this movie, but I cannot convince myself that some of its aspects don't exist somewhere out in the black.  Mostly, the Reavers.  Yeah, I don't even want to talk about how much that whole concept disgusts and scares me.  Except to say that, since my roommate was out for the night at her boyfriend's school and I was left all alone in my room, I had a hard time getting to sleep that night.  There were gymnastics, loud music, and night lights involved.  

    So anyway, I'm still not sure if I liked that movie or not.

    Then Saturday.  That was a lovely day.  At the time, it felt a little hectic and wasteful, but in retrospect, it really wasn't any of those things.  Well, yes it was, but I'm okay with that now.  It started at 11:00 when we had a dorm "retreat" (we all went out to the parking lot, ate lunch, listened to the story of Noah and the Ark and how it relates to the new wing, and then went shopping at various locations for stuff for our floor lobbies) and continued at 4:00 with a serious soccer game.

    Let me just tell you, that that game, more than anything else I've experienced in these past...what...three weeks? of college took me away from all previous experiences and out of my comfort zone (quite literally, as I am still quite sore some two days later).  I felt like Edward Scissorhands at a cake decorating convention.  I had a whole lot more to write on that subject, but this post is already breaking zoning laws on length, so I'll just move on.

    Then I went to Meijer again and spent way too much money, but at least I have food to eat when I skip organized meals, which happens always during the breakfast hour a lot during the lunch hour on study days.  And now I don't have to live solely on ramen, turkey jerky, and fruit leather, which is exciting.

    So little homework was done that night, though I wrote the insides of my autobiography, saving the introduction and conclusion until...oh.  Today.  Right.  I should get on that soon.

    Sunday was church at Ada Bible.  Which I identified as a WCA church almost immediately, though I'm not sure why.  That makes me like it more, though that doesn't take much, as the pastor talks too fast and the people I met aren't really friendly.  

    After church was homework until dinner (one of the study days without an organized lunch) and then we hung out in the lobby until LOFT*.  Which was moving.  And I took communion again.  Does twice in one day make me a better person?  Don't ask my floor-mate Richard: he has a tendency to start raucous theological debates at the drop of a hat.

    And then we stayed up until 2:00 with no purpose, discussing which names we thought had negative or positive connotations and how people have proposed to their significant others in the past and whether or not the parking lot outside our dorm is a good place for ghost in the graveyard.

    I will let you get back to your regularly scheduled day now.  My friends may you grow in grace.

<3 spadeALLcross

* Yesterday's LOFT isn't up there as of yet, but it will be, and I encourage anyone interested to listen to it.  I'm not sure how much I agree with, but he does present some interesting points.

Radio is much the same thing, except without the cat.

    This weekend ran rampant with firsts.  

    Friday night was Iron Man with most of my floor.  They showed it free of charge in our auditorium in HD.  It was pretty sweet, let me tell you.  It was my first "official" college Friday, as last Friday had me still in orientation week, which doesn't count for much of anything.  Also, it was my first SAO (Student Activities Organization) experience.  But mostly, it was the first time I had ever seen that bit of mastery that is Tony Stark.  I mean, Robert Downey Jr. is okay looking, but strap him in to whatever that glowy thing was and teach him how to fly, and suddenly I have a huge urge to become Shion Uzuki just so that we may cross paths someday.  (Unravel that skein of thought, I dare you.)   The movie was fantastic, as was the discussion we had back in the dorm lobby about the obviously misogynistic script-writer.  But then again, what Marvel Comic is not misogynistic?  

    Saturday night I went to Meijer's and made my first replenishment journey, stocking up on Ramen and popcorn and various other foodstuffs.  I thought I had stocked up sufficiently on chips as well, but alas, when I took my new stores into the lobby for a late night snack around the developing monopoly game, I lost them forever.  I was very surprised they lasted as long as they did, actually, with all the men unleashed in the room, but evidently the word "veggie" is a deterrent for many.  But they all eventually gave in and then devoured.  I'm glad I could spread the love.

    Today I went to church for the first time in a small caravan (a Grand Prix, actually) that took speed bumps at exactly 25 mph, much to the chagrin of the tall Canadian in the back who is now recovering from a slight concussion.  We went to Madison Square Church, and I really enjoyed myself.  Their mission is diversity, so they have different styles of worship every week, and this week was Gospel...ish.  Well, as Gospel as I've ever seen coming from a predominantly white church in the suburbs.  I hope to go there next week too, for as they say, two points make a line.

    I also did laundry for the first time, and stripped and remade my bed.  It was beautifully exhausting, so I've been using this blogging time as a chance to cool off and cultivate a less disgusting smell.  

    I have just one last assignment to finish up today, and it's due Tuesday, so I'm not worried, but I should probably do it.  So, ta.

<3 spadeALLcross

If I ran the Interwebs...

    On Friday morning we had a worship session in the chapel before our service projects downtown, and the first song the married couple on stage played for us was "This Little Light of Mine." Now, maybe I'm biased, but that is possibly the hokiest song to sing at an adult worship service. Not only that, but the guy at least was really getting into it, adding his own little ad lib parts and singing "hallelujah, Jesus!" and very odd moments. I was taken aback, and slightly distressed, thinking maybe this is what my life is going to be like for the next four years. Next came "Lean on Me" and I nearly cried.  But since then, things have looked up for the most part.  If "Jesus Loves Me" comes up, though, I may be forced to transfer...

    "Firefly" has become a floor-wide tradition every night.  We pull out the 15" MacBook pro, a well-packaged DVD, and gather around the lobby for 45 minutes, sharing the ups and downs of Captain Malcolm Reynolds and Zoe and Wash, and it's just a good time.  If you haven't seen "Firefly," get a bunch of your nerdiest friends together, preferably late at night, and plop down in a comfy couch for a while.  You'll like it, if not love it at least.

    It's almost funny how very small the world is.  How no matter where you go, how far away from home or familiarity you find yourself, you'll always and usually unexpectedly find something or someone that is immediately and eerily recognizable to you.  You'll meet someone who watched the same obscure movie as you did when you were little, or see someone on the street wearing your favorite t-shirt, or you'll discover that a restaurant you thought was one-of-a-kind is really a very small franchise, with only two other outlets, one being right down the street from your new place.  

   Almost funny.  It's sometimes very sad.  It sometimes breaks your heart.  Because maybe you're not running away from something, but when it does come back to you in this place where you thought you were unreachable, you're so overwhelmed by its sudden reappearance that every emotion it ever stirred in you is brought back tenfold, and in this new environment, there's no one there who understands.

    That's my tattoo.  I got it in July, and I don't know why I didn't mention it here.  But there it is.  It's the reason I sign all my posts "spadeALLcross."  It's like those little brain teaser things you used to do as a kid.

    Well, I've got a fair helping of homework to get to, so I'm going to get to it.

<3 spadeALLcross

Here, have yet another syllabus.

First day of classes.

Japanese was interesting. The professor seems a little loopy, but very engaging, so I imagine I'll enjoy this class.

Convocation was like nothing else I'd experienced before, except maybe my friend's mom's Catholic wedding service, what with all the standing up and down, singing hymns, reciting and reading prayers, and the immense pipe organ, but it was interesting to watch.

Then I sat in my room, ate ramen, and caught up on some stuff I've been meaning to do for the past four days, including finding an ATM on campus, signing up for my band audition, and...eating ramen... Whatever. It felt excitingly productive at the time.

American Music is daunting. I feel slightly overwhelmed with the expectations already, and it's only the first day. Hopefully that will wear off as I get more into the swing of the school year. On the bright side, my big presentation for the semester is going to be on John Williams and the music of Star Wars, so destined to not be dull research there.

American Literature is also daunting, but much more down my alley.  We're rereading very little: most of the stuff I've never read before, so I'm looking forward to getting those under my belt.  

Beeteedubs, the profs for both of those seem like genuinely fantastic people, so I'm not to worried about getting along with them for the most part.

It's raining.  I wasn't expecting that, and am now wearing my second batch of clothes for the day.

Anyway...that's all I have for now.  May post something more interesting later, but that's really quite up in the air.

<3 spadeALLcross

The night is young and you're so beautiful...

    This and the Lord's Prayer.  That's what I was doing when my cell-phone vibrated, telling me it was 9:17 tonight.  "Hallowed be thy name," to be specific.  It felt kind of magical at the time.  In one of those little tea lights, floating on the Seminary Pond is a post-it note with my greatest fear for college, sailing away into the night, far away.  

    And now I'm watching The Funniest Moments of Robin Hood: Men in Tights in the lobby.  Magic over.

<3 spadeALLcross

'Cause it's 11:30 and the crowd is jumpin' jumpin'...

So xkcd has a fettish for fettishes recently. Anybody else notice?

In other news, I'm all moved in. Horray! More on that later, I guess. I was going to be a champ and post a picture or two of my Grade-A dorm, but it's currently 2:40 in the morning and the proverbial "roomie" and I are up, still organizing stuff because we share an affinity for night, one that is potentially detrimental to our college experience, as neither of us wakes up easily. Needless to say, we've skipped breakfast pretty heartily so far, and I see no change in that in the near future.

Prognosis: Calvin is thus far a hoppin' place to be. I'm pretty pumped to spend the rest of my year here, which, had you asked me three months ago, was something I did not imagine myself saying ever. I chose Calvin with every reservation possible, questioning everything: Christian aspect of the school and where that would land it on the liberal/conservative line, the size of the school and whether the quality of education would be something I could get behind, the...outgoingness?...of the school/students/random people I met while visiting that, in all honesty, just freaked me out because I'm a Gold-Card member of the I Pride group (INFJ, if you must know) and I tend to get turtle-ish if I don't check myself.

I loved the school when I visited, but after I visited other schools, especially the secular ones like Boston University, I started to have my doubts. So when I chose this as my home for the fall semester, I did it with the plan to transfer out after my first year. I don't know why in the world I chose a school I didn't really want to go to, but I did and here I am. And I'm happy.

The people are crazy. And I say that with all the love in my heart, but no joke, they are.  My orientation leader is one of the most hilarious people I've met in my life (one kid in my group grew up in Japan and taught us how to say "I love you" in Japanese, and then wrote it on the blackboard in our break-out room, and our leader insisted we use it as a chant, and that he write it on every blackboard of every room we use this week) and yet he can effectively lead a group of college freshman in serious discussions about things like homosexuality and substance abuse and racism.  My RA uses a bikers horn to worn the boys when she's coming into their wing after hours.  I just had a three-hour-long conversation about everything in the analytical world, including politics, theology, conspiracy theories, World War II...and they're still going while I'm in here blogging to retain my sanity because they can quote Nietzsche and I'm proud of my meager ration of Locke.  My roommate and I are both still actively awake at 3:00 in the morning--she's framing her pictures and mounting them on the wall, and I'm chatting it up with you.  

    Yes, there are some of the downfalls I expected, like there are some ignorant people running around, and there are people so set in their ideals that they are hard to even talk to, and I am a minority, coming from a public, out-of-state school, and the Christian Reform Church seems to be a bit different than the non-denominational goodness I got back home, but at this point, my euphoria on having found a good school that I enjoy keeps me firm in the belief that all schools have stuff/people that I wouldn't like, and I'm just glad that Calvin has so much that I do.

Right now, in this moment, I'm exuberant. That'll fade, I'm sure, as the hours wear on tomorrow after this dangerous bout of wakefulness, but for now, I'm content with just living in the happy.

Hmm. What else can I say? As I went through the past...what? three days it's been since I last left my intellectual mark upon this site, I thought of a lot of things I could mention, just in passing. But, as these things go, I've since forgotten all of them.

And we're going to bed now.

Ta.

<3 spadeALLcross

"One of these things is not like the other..."

Happy Labor Day!

<3 spadeALLcross