Burning slowly, my one and only.

Okay, so someone told me that I haven't posted in "four years." This, I realize, is a hyperbole, but nonetheless, I feel it is necessary to inform my readers that the time between posts is officially lengthening. I can no longer realistically post every day. I will try to post a couple times a week, though, or at least as interesting things occur. I still need to post pictures of my room. This will happen sometime this week. Maybe even Tuesday or Wednesday. Not today or tomorrow, though; far too busy.

But to quickly summarize everything that's happened since "Tuesday," the last time I posted:

I love my new janitorial job, though the timing is kind of sucky. Also, they've evidently changed things up at my other on-campus job, tour guiding, so I have to relearn some things. Had to think on my feet for a tour on Thursday, and will have to do so again for one I have tomorrow.

Classes are really great. I actually have stuff that's not English for this semester, and I'm really looking forward to being able to break up my schedule like that. My Econ prof is great. Maybe not a good Bruce replacement, but he's really funny and young and I understand him when he talks, which is a plus. Granted, all the stuff we're doing right now is review, so it's not really hard to understand yet anyway. My bio prof is...kind of a stereotypically old prof. He has energy for his subject, but his attempts at focusing that energy in a hip and fresh way fail 9 times out of 10. I'm actually pretty excited about my Education class; this prof seems a lot better than my last one.

Life is pretty hectic during the week, but that has skyrocketed my productivity levels outside of class time, which is a huge plus. I'm not really having a problem with sleep yet, which is also a plus.

But I do need to get to bed now. So night night.

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All I know is my steak tastes better when I take my steak-tastes-better pill

Mary: So, Jared, how are the Timmer apartments?

Jared: Oh, they're great. Well, crappy in comparison to KHvR, but still pretty good. And I have an awesome roommate, so I'm enjoying myself.

Mary: Oh yeah? I remember you were worried last year about your roommate...

Jared: Oh, well, I got a different one actually.

Mary: Yeah? Why?

Jared: Well, he's still in jail, so he couldn't come.

Ahh, the first day of school. Quite enjoyable, actually. Things went generally well. I enjoyed my classes ("Intro to Creative Writing" and "Shakespeare"), and though they will certainly prove challenging, I look forward to their continuation throughout the semester. I got a ton of odd-jobs done that I needed to get done, and even made good headway on my homework.

In my creative writing class, the professors made some off-hand comment about workshop groups, and it made me realize that, in my brief history as a serious fiction (and ill-fated poetry) writer, writing groups have been the one thing that ensure that I write. Not only does the pressure of creating work for others to read spur me into writing just anything as long as it's something, but the pleasure of getting feedback from those others often spurs me to take new risks and really enjoy my writing in a way writing on my own never does. This revelation is...well, huge. It's why NaNoWriMo, though grueling, is so much fun for me. It's why my Creative writing class last semester (ironically a higher-level course than the creative writing class I'm taking this semester) was by far my best experience as a writer ever.

In summary: I need to find a [semi]-permanent home in a writing group.

Work started tonight, too. It was actually very fun. Evidently, I was put in charge of all the gym floors and the stairs in the Hoogenboom Health and Rec center. I dust-mopped all the gym floors, and then swept and mopped the stairs. I worked with a freshman media-productions major named Taylor and listened to a post-modernist philosophy lecture on my iPod.

Now to bed!

Well, first a word from our poor, neglected sponsors.

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P.S. I actually wrote most of this either before the end of the day, or during the day/night of the eighth. Sorry if my insincerity and outright lies bother you.

The seasons don't fear the Reaper. Why this comes as a surprise to anyone is a mystery.

Went to Calvin again to pick up my textbooks, then picked up Carley and we went to Meijer again to pick up the stuff I forgot yesterday as well as her prescription. Then we went back home and ate lunch and I watched Psych on usanetwork.com or whatever site that is. Then I went to Ben's, played sporcle quizzes (I fell asleep while he got in the 49% percentile on the Countries of the World quiz...) then went home, showered, and went to a "job interview." The guy asked me if I'd ever cleaned anything professionally, and I told him that I had to clean the restaurant every day when I worked at Subway, and he hired me and I start Tuesday at the late shift cleaning the Field house. That will be...fun...

Then came home, ate dinner, watched some more Psych, then the landlord came over (unannounced...) to fix our stove, which is exciting because I like making eggs for breakfast in the morning. Then I went over to the Bens' again and played Rockband with Ben and his roommate whom we call J-Money, or J$. I sang a bunch of songs I didn't know, and am now hoarse. But it was fun.

We played "Don't Fear the Reaper" which made me think of The Ripper again. Hilarious, again, I just have to say it.

Now, off to bed.

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The day that got away...

I had so many big plans for today. I was gonna go to church, then to Meijer, then do some reading, then hang out with Ben and co, then veg out.

The vegging out happened, and the Culver's, and the vegging out. And Monopoly of epic proportions. The church and the Meijer not so much. I did have a good conversation about some Old Testament stuff. That was fun, and made me wish I knew more about the Old Testament in general.

Also, Carley, Christie, and I made breakfast...and kind of failed, but had an adventure in doing so, so not a loss by my estimation. The bacon burned intensely, the pancakes looked like overgrown sanddollars without the cool star pattern in the middle, and the eggs turned out a grayish green color because they were cooked in the burn-encrusted pan after the bacon was finished.

And Monopoly was crazy. I was banker, and we were playing with the modified rules of my challenge-obsessed friends. (Read: I lost)

All in all, a good day, though. Very good day.

Tomorrow, I am for real going to Meijer. And to Calvin to pick up some job applications. And I'm going to watch the Bens and their housemates and Mark and Carley play out the last bit of their D&D campaign.

And now a word from our sponsors:

(Note: this video isn't directed at anyone, and does not pertain to my own current situation in life, but I love it anyway)

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You fill up my senses...like a walk in the rain...

Today was pretty laid back. My feet and hair were washed while the rest of me went pathetically without. Also, I did pack all of my clothes, with only a little foresight into my clothing needs for the next few days, so I'm probably going to be rummaging around to find stuff to wear. Ah well.

Also, I babysat, and while doing so, I watched Lucky Number Slevin. And while Slevin Kalevra is a great name, that movie was far from re-watchable. It was a well-made movie, and I definitely heartily enjoyed parts of it, but I do not enjoy watching people getting their heads blown off from a close-range pistol, nor do I particularly relish the idea of people suffocating due to a plastic bag duct-taped over their head. Maybe this is a weakness...I choose to disagree. I also watched an episode of Adventure Time, which is probably one of the weirdest things I've seen in quite a while.

As I was leaving, Mr. Schaefer told me that he had been going through some old papers, including my "What Does it Mean to be Human?" paper that I wrote for him over two years ago. I did not want to talk to him about school work, (because that might involuntarily turn into a conversation about how much I had hated him as a teacher) and I didn't remember having to write a paper; I remember making a movie...but whatever.

Goodnight, world.

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How could I dance with another when I saw her standing there?

Today was a lovely day! I got so much stuff done, and had fun, and spent money, but not too much...lovely day.

Got home from Cari's, showered, then went out with my mom. We went to Khol's to get me some professional clothes for both any job that I might get and for my upcoming semester of observing students in their natural habitat. I fit into everything I tried on, and had enough money to buy a good amount of clothes. We also went to PNC and opened a new bank account for me! Hooray! Now I can deposit money into my account while I'm in Michigan, and get money from ATMs instead of just the cash-back at Meijer. That was always a challenge...I had to buy, like, a pack of Ramen or something just so I could get money to pay someone back for something.

The rest of the day was pretty uneventful, as I recall. I finished ripping Dune Messiah and started Children of Dune. I also started watching a TV show called Life that a friend had recommended to me. The characters do creepy facial expressions sometimes, and the main character has a weird mouth/lisp thing, but it's a pretty good show.

Tomorrow, I'm getting a haircut and a pedicure, and babysitting. I should also pack up my clothes.

And now, a word from our sponsors.

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Giving All My Secrets Away...

Went trail riding with Cari and her family today, then came back and babysat Dylan again. Well, I baby sat him for about ten minutes, and then it was his bed time, and then I watched Ghost Rider and...well, fell asleep for a while, then watched A:TLA for a bit before embarrassedly switching it to baseball as the Schaefer's walked in the door.

Ghost Rider made me think of Sorcerer's Apprentice, and now I really want to see that movie again.

Actually, mostly, I just want to get to Michigan and see my friends there again. I miss them. I'm going to miss being home, though too. It's funny; this blog tracks, over the years, my excitement level for school. Thinking back to before Freshman year, I was pumped to start my new life, and then last year, I couldn't sleep for weeks I was so excited to get back to school. Now, since acquiring Seamus, and through him, the feeling of freedom my house had previously lacked, I've gotten much more comfortable at home, and I really can't decide if, if given the choice, I'd stay or go.

But, like my brother pointed out to me once, it doesn't matter what I would decide. I'm not deciding; I have to go. So I better make the most of it.

And now, a word from our sponsors.

Better Late than Never

Schwoops. Didn't update last night. It was a combination of forgetting and being out until 4:00 in the morning, so not really wanting to delay my rendezvous with my bed. I'm going to write this post as if it's still Friday...

I watched Dylan for the last time, although I'm going to be watching him tonight, too. But he'll be asleep, so we won't have our routine from the week. But we'll always have ... well, not Paris, certainly. But something, I'm sure.

Then I deposited that check ($$kaching!$$ now I actually have money to spend this coming semester!) and came home to do some stuff with paying my parents back for stuff, making more lists, and eating dinner.

After that, I went over to Carney's house to steal from his magical mystery hard drive of many cinematic wonders. And we went to Cuba Marsh...still don't know why. That was his idea, and it resulted in about seventy mosquito bites all over my foot...so restitution may be in order.

Finally, there was The Ripper. Oh gosh. Not going to lie, I was kind of dozing off during most of it, but still, it was the most ridiculous thing I've seen in a while. 1996 ideas of the future + attempts to make a video game fun and challenging + the often-poignant commentary by spoony of spoonyexperiment + Christopher Walken = hours of laughter.

Oh dear. Hilarious. Just sayin'.

And now a word from our sponsors.

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Race you to the top of the morning...

Nathan Fillion, I love you man, but just shut up, already. Seriously. No one should twitter that much about nothing, especially no one as adorable as you.

Moving on...

Watched Dylan, forgot my lunch at home (so I stole a banana and some carrot shavings from my old English teacher...and his baby...I may go to Hell, after all) then came home, did some stuff, including reading the entirety of Anders Loves Maria. Come to think of it, I don't know for sure if you're supposed to italicize webcomic titles. I'm fairly certain, judging from the pattern of italicizing complete works--music album titles, book titles, and ship names--while using quotes on parts of a whole--song titles that are parts of albums, chapter titles that are parts of books, short story titles that are part of a collection, and...not ship names--that you should italicize webcomic titles and italicize the individual strip titles. Anyway...that was a digression. Anders Loves Maria is incredibly...saddening. I feel really...down right now just from reading it, and not just because I get easily depressed by depressing fiction. It's a sad commentary on a life, and a sad ending to that sad commentary...so...all around...I feel sad.

I'll move on quickly, though. That's the glory of sleeping and forgetting things when you wake up.

Also threw together some lists of things I need to do and pack and buy before I go back to school. Which is happening on the 25th. I don't know if I mentioned before when I was going back. But here I am, mentioning it now. The 25th. If anyone is stalking me, planning to hunt me down and get my autograph or something, I will be on the road on the 25th. You can't stop me. Well, I mean, you could. But that would be rather silly.

Our sponsors have been forced into silence for a while, so here's a quick overload on your browser. (If you were wondering why this page was taking so long to load, look no further.)

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Monotonous Litany...

Clean my room, watched Dylan, watched Inception, watched Star Trek, watched The West Wing, watched The Office. In that order.

Did other, less television- and little-child-related things too, but have to get to bed now. I'll brief you later, if I deem that action necessary.

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Burny itchy dry eyes! Call Ben Stein!

Watched Annabelle. Watched Dylan. Watched Annabelle. Watched West Wing. In that order.

Good night.

Oh, and I also got my minors in order. Dropping Writing and CS, adding Secondary Ed Social Studies, which is like a Godsend. More on that later, when I'm not eating into my much-needed allotted sleep time.

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Where are we? What the hell is going on?

Good day. Packed for camping, hung out with Molly, watched TV with my mom, babysat, and had a hard-but-necessary conversation with a person I care for very deeply. Now to bed, perchance to dream. But really, with my track record, not-dreaming would be okay too.

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I smoke my friends down to the filter

Oh man. Crazy week. Overall, not a bad week, but I wouldn't exactly call it a crown jewel among pebbles, either.

Last weekend I went to Chicago on a whirlwind adventure with three of my friends from school. It was the best weekend of this school year so far (which I suppose isn't saying much, especially with the knowledge that the weekend directly preceding it was by far the worst weekend I've experienced in a long time) if only because I had done my best to do as much homework as possible in the days leading up to it so that there was not a whole lot of pressure to work on anything while I was gone. That was handy, considering that, even if I had brought stuff to do, it wouldn't have gotten done.

The week since then has really been pretty steadily downhill until yesterday. Even with all my great foresight, I still had a lot of catching up to do after getting back to school, and I still haven't really gotten into the rhythm of school and trying to be productive. This is going to be my most full semester academically (if things go as planned, that is) and I'm still working on reconciling that to how I go about my academic business. On top of all that, there are a lot of social changes at work in my life and circles of friends, so I've been adjusting to those as well.

But, as I have taken to doing lately, let's not think about all that junk. I want to talk about the great weekend I had. There were a lot of "best parts" of it, looking back.

The actual ten-mile walk was incredibly fun. I mean, I'm not usually one for physical activity, but that experience was incredibly refreshing. A big part of it was the presence of my closest school friends and the conversations we got the opportunity to have together in that nearly 4-hour period. They completely summed up the three Star Wars I haven't seen (the newer three, the three they told me aren't worth watching, though I don't fully believe them) and the VII-IX trilogy that hasn't yet been made into movies. We talked about THE GAME (if you're a player, you just lost, beeteedubs) and the likelihood of its ending anytime soon. We talked about our friends, about each other, about our lives...I got so much closer to those three people just by walking and talking with them.

One of my other favorite parts was the lack of school rules to follow. When we got into Chicago at around 11:30 pm local time, we checked into our rooms, set up our stuff, and then the two guys came over to our room and we played cards until about 1:30 am. This would not have gone over well at school, and as we all sat there playing cards, we joked about all the Calvin laws we were breaking. Our door was not propped open, we were all sitting on the bed with no feet on the floor, and it was way past open-house hours. Saturday morning, the boys came and picked us up for breakfast, and because we hadn't had to wake up as early as they did to move the car, we were still getting ready, so they just chilled in our room and waited. Again, violations galore. Saturday night, as well. Rules broken up the wazoo.

In case anyone at Calvin who cares is reading this, I will provide this as evidence that boys and girls can be in the same room without spontaneously making babies. Also, this is proof that if anyone ever really wanted to do the nasty, the nasty would get done, with or without your permission or knowledge. Responsible freedom usually entails freedom.

I have to go to work now, so I'm going to leave this post without any formal conclusion-esque paragraph. A lot more happened last weekend than I have time to talk about here. Maybe I'll write later.

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Do you hear me? I'm talking to you across the water, across the deep blue ocean under the open sky. Oh my. Well, baby, I'm tryin'.

    I've been staying away from this blog lately, and to anyone who has been upset by that, I apologize.  For an array of reasons, the pressure to write witty, intriguing, well-put-together posts has upped in the past month, and, as I am wont to do, I've just been putting off the inevitable attempt at composure in the face of tribulation.

    No more my friend.  Just call me Rayford Steele.

    That's actually a nice segue into a topic that has touched my heart recently.  You know, the Bible is a fascinating piece of literature, history, art, and science.  All my life I've had pastors and parents and friends and revivalists on the street corners telling me that, but I guess what they say in Psych 101 is true: the lightbulb has to really want to change.

    I've taken to reading from the Bible every day.  I'm currently working through Luke, and I'll hit up Acts next, dropping in on the Psalms every now and then and maybe busting out the old Genesis if I get around to it...It sounds more spasmodic than it actually is, I promise.  You see, I went to a summer camp (for high schoolers, ironically enough) last weekend, and it really changed my outlook on life.  I'm not sure if that was the point, but I don't think the staff would mind if they found out.

   So it turns out, I actually like being Christian.  Shocker.  Yeah, I don't know what I'd do without it.  And it's odd, but I'm getting a lot more out of this Bible thing than I actually thought I would.  Way to go Mary.  I guess I just forgot about the whole Superstar thing.

   Another thing I've gotten [back] into lately is Pandora.  I struggle through the mandatory playlist of a sandwich artist all day (consisting of, to my deep chagrin, Taylor Swift, Miley Cyrus, bad hip-hop and awkward country), and then I come home, kick back with a fresh, cool Facebook and maybe a couple Acolytes (not that I like the Undead Scourge...I'm just slowly hacking away at that particular campaign right now) and turn on the tunes that keep on rocking all the night long with titles I've never heard before but can't wait to hear again.

   Anyway.  I can't remember the original intent of this post, so I'm going to just quit while I'm...where I am.  Make good choices. 

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P.S.  I just noticed that all my other blogging friends happened to update recently.  Outer-Limits-y moment...I assure you, I am not a poser.  I'm psyched, but not a poser.

This is how it works...

...you're young until you're not, 

                  you love until you don't, 

                                   you try until you can't.

    Well, let me tell you, it's been a crazy couple weeks.  I've been on emotional roller coasters of the worst kind, the worst I can ever remember.  Reminiscent of Annie Camden going through menopause.  But I think I'm out of those by now, or at least I hope so, and I feel like it.  It was mostly just freaking out about the future, and how it's all going to be different than the past, and how I have very little reference as to what my life is going to be like, even for the coming summer.  But I've tried lately to focus more on the exciting changes, and the cool parts of the scary ones.  That's helped a lot.

    Easter weekend was fantastic.  My favorite memory from this entire school year.  I was intelligent leading up to it, so I didn't have much homework to do, and my boyfriend came with me to meet my family.  They were really great, he was really great, church was really fun, we decorated, hid, and found eggs, watched fun movies, ate amazing pizza, the weather was fantastic...So much fun.  I wish every weekend of my life could be like that.

    After that, though, I spent a good portion of my time late last week and a bit into the weekend freaking out about my Political Science paper about privatizing social security and my interview for being an Orientation Leader in the fall.  The outline for the paper is due on Friday and the interview was today.  Just an hour ago, actually.

    It was the most nerve-wracking thing I've experienced in a while.  Leading up to it, I was incredibly on-edge because I've never interviewed for something before.  I was interviewed by my school paper last year for a feature article of a noteworthy senior (that's me; who knew?)  but that doesn't count, considering a) I knew the interviewer really well from girl scouts and German class, b) there was nothing to lose from saying something stupid because she wouldn't have put it in the article, and c) I didn't have to dress up.  

    Dressing up.  Bah, I hate it.  Plus, the only times I have to dress up nowadays are the times when I have to impress someone or fit in with a crowd of people, and in either case, I'm already freaked out enough as it is, so dressing up just exacerbates the situation.  I'm paranoid that my skirt is riding up in back or that I have a huge ugly run in my tights or that my feet smell and I just don't notice or that my hair is doing something hideous without my permission...It's just not a good time.

    I feel like I was really quite calm during the actual interview though, and I was pretty articulate, and I feel like I played up my positives well, considering I'm generally terrible at that.  Still, just like with tests in school, when I feel like I did well, I always get more scared that I am blind to just how badly I did.  Right now, I'm worried that I had too low of expectations for myself since I've never had an interview before.  

    But I know I did as best as I could have, and I'm proud of myself for even trying.  In the end, I've decided that if I don't make it, whatever, I get an extra week of summer.  If I did make it, hooray!  Reason to celebrate.  I really just want to know now though; I'm not a patient person when it comes to these things.

    I've been watching A:TLA (perhaps you remember how much I like this show) a lot these past few days.  It's so good.  Not that I condone committing crimes, but you should find someway to watch the show if you can...coughsurfthechannelcough.  Watching that again is part of the reason I've returned to a regular emotional balance, because I'm something of an escapist and I haven't had anything to escape to lately.  I'm not reading any books, up until this weekend, I hadn't written anything in months, and watching The Office with my floor or crazy movies like Crash and American History X doesn't lend itself to my kind of mental holiday.  Anyway, I'm thankful to Aang, Zuko, Momo, and Appa for all their help.  And Ben, naturally, but he's not animated or a plushie.

    Well, that's your update.  And sorry for the rather...off-putting last entry.  I was in a valley there.  The sad thing is that in all this ridiculosity with my personality in the past few weeks, I never really got the highs.  Besides Easter, I was never really excessively happy.  That seems wasteful to me.  But I'm solid now.  And I have some British literature to read.  So bye.

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Hey, pee-ess, please pray for my friend Simon.  Even if you don't believe in prayer or God.  I desperately want something for him that doesn't look like it will happen, and the only thing I can do to help is pray, but my lone voice isn't going to be enough.

"If you need to leave it, leave it...."

    Now entering the Twilight Zone of summer: my old high school started classes this past week, and, officially, as of today, the majority of my friends, both in-college and in-high-school have moved on into fall, and yet...here I am.

    Done with work now, and still summering. Warum? Was habe ich gemacht, dass Gott es zu mich gemacht? Ich wiess nicht.

    Ha ha, not much of a post. I just wanted to write in German, I guess.


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48 x 7.75 = I love my job

    Man.  Crazy week.  Let me tell you.

    Of course I'm going to tell you.  What else would I do on a blog?

    Since I didn't work the last 1.5 pay periods, my boss scheduled me eight hours a day, six days this week.  Not that I don't desperately nee the funds, as I am soon going to be unemployed and sorely tempted, monetarily speaking.  However, it makes for excruciatingly long days.

    

    I was worried when I first took this job that, since every day is pretty much a cookie-cutter copy of the last, I would become easily bored and disgruntled, and dread going to work, which is one of my worst fears in life.  When I nannied last summer for these two kids, there was a month-long period where they were children of the corn and I would have sawed off my own leg to not have to go, even if I did get paid $8 an hour. 

    But soon into my employment as a sandwich artist, I discovered that, though there is a definite routine to the days, each day is still much different than the others.  I'll spare you the details (refilling the cambros, teriyaki-ing the chicken, and de-paper-ifying the cheeses, though exciting to any Subway employee, can dull even the sharpest minds of outsiders) except to say that it's really the people I work with that make the hours worthwhile.

    For instance, this week.  Six days in a row, same resources needing to be restocked every morning, 1000 songs on a "Subway Radio" playlist...not necessarily an endless supply of joy, laughter, and entertainment for all.  But I have thus far been pleasantly (and...er...sometimes not so pleasantly) surprised by how varied this week has felt--keeping me on my toes and giving me at least some little thing to look forward to everyday besides the tuna aromatherapy and my minimum wage.  

    Basically, what I'm saying is, I'm very happy with my job currently, and though I'll be excited to get new sneakers that don't smell like cucumbers and oven cleaner and be able to sleep in past six and eat my lunch without bread being involved, I am going to miss Subway while I'm at school this year.  

    Anyway, that's all I had to say.  I know it was extraordinarily interesting for you =D

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