Well, this has certainly been an interesting day. One that I'll never forget.
Let me start from the beginning. I was supposed to start taking my Secondary Ed. classes this semester, but they were closed by the time I registered, so they told me to start taking them in the fall. If I had been in EDUC 102 this semester like I was supposed to be, I would have known earlier that I had a preliminary departmental exam to take this week that would ultimately decide my aptitude as an instructor. As it was, I found out on Monday when the "reminder" email was sent out to all the first-year education students. After a powwow with some of my education friends, we all signed up to take the test yesterday morning at 8:00. It was standardized scantron and we got our scores back over the internet this morning.
I failed. Not just nerd-failing, not just didn't-meet-my-own-too-high-expectations failed. I failed miserably. I checked my score first thing after waking up, and then checked my email immediately afterwards to see that my education advisor had asked me to come in and see her later. So I set up a meeting with her over my lunch break and prayed for the next two hours that there would be some way I could recover from this blow.
During my first class of the day, American Government, we had guest speaker, a Calvin Alum, come in for about thirty minutes and talk to us about a political science mock-umentary mini-series starting next summer on NBC. He said the show would be a cross between "The West Wing" and "The Office," and though I generally have a very low view on recycled television, the show actually sounded pretty interesting, both entertaining and informational. He said it was going to be Hollywood's good-will service to America in trying to inform the public about how politics works as well has how current events are affecting everyday people.
Luckily, that presentation took my mind off of my current program predicament and I was able to pay attention fully. Otherwise this day would be much more of a heap than it is. But more on that later....
After class, I went straight to my advisor's office. She explained to me the heart-wrenching news that the secondary education program does not take students who received as low a score as I did on the departmental entry exam. She said that people who achieve my level of failure generally have psychological obstacles that would keep them from thriving in a teaching position, and that could endanger their students, in which case they believe that our vocation lays somewhere else.
I was...a mess. This cesspool of emotions from righteously angry (I am not a psychologically blocked, okay?) to considerably distraught. Education has been my one dream for as long as I can remember. And now I find out that I'm in no way qualified to even try it out. I skipped my next class and tried to sleep off my depression. It didn't work, really, because I kept waking up really sharply and bursting into tears.
That all lasted until about 1:00. I gave up the nap as a bad job and got up to check my email again. I don't know what I was expecting, but it certainly wasn't what I got.
The presenter from my Poli-sci class had emailed me over KnightVision (my school's internet networking thing) to tell me that my Brit-Lit Prof had given him my name. He was looking for students who might be interested in internship positions in Calfornia with his new show over the summer. He asked if we could meet before he left at the end of the day. So we set up a conference at 2:30 as soon as I got out of class.
So here's the final deal: God has closed a door and opened a window to a brighter world. I can't even describe how thankful I am for the opportunity that I have been given. I talked to Jared (the producer and director of the show) and ended up telling him the whole sad story about my exam debacle and subsequent lack of a major. I told him that I didn't even know if college was going to be worth it if I couldn't get my teacher's certification. It's a fear that's been running through my head for the past couple of days as I felt my future hanging in the balance, that, since all I've ever wanted to do was teach, now I won't be happy in any job.
But Jared then started explaining his plan to me, and, I must confess, I'm more excited about working for him on that set than I've ever been about anything before. He said also that, through his trips to college campuses all over the country, he's found dozens of willing interns, and he could set me up with their information so we could all work together about finding housing in the area around the studio. He and his wife have a good network of friends in LA who would all be willing to be host families for some of the students, though there would have to be an application process.
So I picked up an application.
And I asked Jared if there would be a possibility for me to be on set year-round, instead of just during this one summer. He said that he hadn't thought of it, but that he'd definitely think about it, and that it could probably work out. I'd probably have to work my way up with some effort into a paid position, but that would be even better.
So my day went from awful to blessed in less than six hours.
I'm not saying that I'm definitely dropping out of Calvin, but I won't lie, I'm considering it deeply. I think that Hollywood would be a great place to find my niche while trying to serve God. And this show is such a good idea with such great motives. Talk about engaging God's world; we'd be reforming a medium that has been using it's mass-communication efforts to manipulate the public for far too long. I feel absolutely called to do this, and I'm so excited.
Wish me luck! And pray for me!
<3 spadeALLcross
