At the end of the day you're another day colder.

    So Interim is over tomorrow, and then I have almost a week off.  2009 has started out fabulously, however strangely.  It's hard to wrap my mind around the fact that a month ago today, I was in Colorado probably sleeping, maybe reading Midnight Sun, eating a bagel with cream cheese, and hanging out with my cousins and family.  So many things have changed since then, which is crazy because it has only been four weeks.  The last time I was home, I had no desire to leave and I was a little sulky for a couple days at school because I didn't want to be there.  Now that I'm to go home tomorrow, I'm a little sad about that, not because I don't want to go home, because I am very excited to see my family and wish my brother and aunt a happy birthday, but because there are a lot of things and people here that I don't want to leave.

    It's funny, being tied to two places.  I'm not sure I've ever lived like that before.

    Anyway, I went snowboarding over the weekend, and am now in something of excruciating pain.  But it was quite fun, and by the end of the day, I was even able to stay standing all the way down the slope and get my boot in the binding in under ten minutes.  I'm proud of my improvement, though humbled by my sore muscles.  

    And now I have an essay to write and a couple chapters to read.

<3 spadeALLcross

Childhood is what we spend the rest of our lives recovering from.

I love it so much.

<3 spadeALLcross

Say those words as much as you want but you need me like I need you.

Happy

50th 

Post!

    And happy Monday....

    Though both are lame reasons to celebrate, one is still less enthusiastic than the other.  Can you guess which?

    Yesterday I went to New Life Christian Fellowship for church.  It was an incredible experience, but I don't think I want to go there again.  It was very different from what I'm used to in a church.  They are non-denominational and charismatic, and they have an interesting set up for their services.  The one yesterday was 2 hours long (and none of the regulars seemed too restless, so I'm pretty sure they are generally that length) the first hour being worship and healing and the second being a sermon-type object.  

    The worship was very individualistic.  Some people grabbed these flag, banner things and stood around the room waving them at their leisure.  Some people were dancing and flailing themselves around, some people were kneeling, some were sitting, some were standing.  There were only four or so songs sung, but as I said, the worship was half of the service.  At one point, a woman from the makeshift choir went up to the microphone and shared a prophecy she had had about freeing people from their cages of worship and then she prayed over everyone in the audience who felt the trappedness she described.

    The sermon was about climbing mountains of culture and exerting control over a sphere of influence for God's glory.  There was very little scripture mentioned, and certainly none that really drove the meaning, which is what I am used to.  The pastor mentioned the cage prophecy again, and then at the end, a woman gave a testimony about how the cage prophecy and the sermon applied to her life.  And then when the pastor finished the prayer and told us to go in peace, only my boyfriend and I left.  Everyone else just sat there...

    The reason I thought this was such an incredible experience is that it made me start to think.  Why do I have such a problem taking these people seriously?  Is my faith second to my logic?  I mean, I know I have issue with people who say that, if someone dies young or of a disease, it was because they did not have enough faith.  But the whole service caught me off guard.  I wonder if there's not some happy medium God wants us to reach, somewhere between scriptureless faith and faithless scripture, between charismatics and intellectualists.  I believe in the miracles of God, but do I trust that they will happen?

Anyway, just pondering, and putting off writing my paper.

<3>spadeALLcross

Louis, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship...

    Yeah, I don't really know what I wanted to do with this post.  I "started" it yesterday morning, and I'm sure it hat purpose there, but I have since forgotten it.  

    One of these days I hope to make a post about the DCM class I'm taking this interim.  It's about decision making and God's will, and I found it surprisingly interesting.  However, I don't have the time right now.  

    I've had a huge urge to listen to this guy's music all week.  Luckily, I have more of his music on my hard drive than he does on his myspace, otherwise I doubt I would be satisfied.

    It's funny what college will do to you.  I have a ton of new friends, new eating habits, a new sleeping schedule, and even a new favorite past-time.

<3 spadeALLcross

And in the morning, I'm making waffles.

    Yes, I changed again.  I'm sorry, I'm just still playing around with this.  The last title was so easy; it was a line from a movie that had gotten stuck in my head.  (Ten points to the person who names the movie).

    Anyway, school's back in session again.  We started "interim" on Wednesday, which is basically a second winter break, I'm finding.  Class doesn't start until 2:00 for me, so I anticipate, under normal circumstances, sleep not becoming the problem it was last semester.  We do get a considerable amount of reading to do each night, and I'm in two book clubs (one of which is a doozy of a read) but so far I'm not having trouble getting the stuff done.  Well, I mean, right now I am, since I woke up only an hour ago and haven't even looked at the books yet, but I have faith in myself.  

    It's freezing in my room...

    It's been a weird half-week though, because my roommate hasn't gotten back yet.  She got in a pretty bad car accident and was taken back home by her parents to make sure she's okay.  I've gotten unhealthily used to having the room to myself, so in order to make up for it, I've been cleaning and decorating all morning (see note above...it's only been an hour).  It's so strange not having her around, and I'm extremely worried...

   Anyway, on a happier note, I got Cran-Tangerine juice at Meijer last night.  I was just going for a random adventure of a juice, and it turns out, it's really tasty.  Maybe not something I'd want to try to live off of, but I do like it.  

   Okay, so I've got more work to do.  Enjoy your weekend!

<3 spadeALLcross

What is "Auld Lang Syne" anyway?

    Happy New Year!

    To ring in 2009, which I'm sure will be as good as or better than its predecessor, I decided to change the blog around a bit.  I noticed that last month was the only time of the year when "I wish I had a river I could skate away on" really fit as a title.  Plus, it was starting to get annoying, as anytime I'd post, I'd get the song stuck in my head.   But I think I'll keep it on the playlist.  I'm too nostalgic for my own good, I'm sure.

    Wow.  It just hit me.  2008 is gone.  I kind of miss it.

    A lot happened in my life last year. (CAUTION: Long post to follow)  2008 had the last half of my senior year of high school, which marked a lot of change for me as a person.  I got all my college answers--6 acceptances and one wait-list (from University of Richmond?  o.O)--and started doing visits.  I hated those.  

    

    I visted Calvin first, then Hope, both in February.  I remember that because we had to leave to get to Calvin right after school on Valentine's Day and I was a bit upset about that, as it was my first non-single Valentine's Day.  

    Then we went to Lawrence the weekend before spring break, and I wasn't too happy about that timing either, and my host there was terrible.  She was obsessed with Harry Potter, which, by itself, wouldn't be too bad, but she took it too far, and you know when I say that, it's bad.  

    Then we went to visit my aunt in Rhode Island for spring break so that we could get in Boston University, then Boston College, and finally...not Richmond.  We got half-way there when my dad called with the wait-list result, and then went to Gettysburg instead.  That was really fun, actually.  I don't usually like history-buff stuff, but the whole town is really interesting and, dare I say it, cute.

    Then came the one pro/con list to rule them all.  It was very in depth, complete with a point system and several worksheets worth of an Excel spreadsheet.  I remember Lawrence and Iowa State were right out right away because I'm judgmental.  Then slowly, Boston College was ruled out.  Then Hope.  And then I was stuck for weeks between Boston University and Calvin.  I loved Boston when I visited, and when I was done, and I got my acceptance email while in Gettysburg, I was immediately ready to throw away my list and just go.  But, for whatever reason, I didn't want to drop the idea of Calvin.  I couldn't put my finger on it, but whenever I made a decision for Boston, it almost physically hurt to let go of Calvin.  

    I still wonder what I would be like, how different my life would be now if I had chosen Boston over Calvin.  At this point, though, I'm glad I didn't.  I love Calvin, if not for the Christian Reform mayhem, then just because of the people: the professors, the students...I just love it there.  And I really do like learning from a Christian perspective, and being able to discuss my faith openly with almost anyone I come into contact with.  Being able to mention God in my essays on a whim, if I so choose.  Being able to go to church just by walking in the lobby and asking who's going where and if they have extra space in their car.

    I think one of the things that changed my life so much last year was my P.E. class.  You're laughing right now, I'm sure, but I'm serious.  We were called "feelings gym" by the weight-room classes because a big part of the class was us sitting in a circle and discussing our lives.  We went rock climbing too, which was really fun and I can't wait until the climbing wall goes up in our sports center at school, but the biggest thing Outdoor Adventure II taught me was that before I got to know other people seriously, I had to get to know myself.  Luckily, that class also taught me how to do that, which has helped immensely throughout the inevitable changes of last year.

    Another big thing was...well...I feel silly saying it...but a guy.  My short-lived relationship of last year was actually a big turning point in my life.  The more I think about it, the more I'm glad it turned out the way it did, even if it hurt like a certain Unforgivable Curse at the time.  If it hadn't ended as solidly as it did at the seemingly inconvenient time that it did, I could be a completely different person, and I'm not sure I'd like me.  I learned a lot from that guy, as much from his self as from our interactions.  I should find a way to thank him someday.

    I could probably say a lot more, but there are blog posts for the rest of the year, and I have a shower waiting for me in my bathroom right now, so I'm going to leave the rest, perhaps for another time, or perhaps for naught.  I'll let my silence speak as loud as my words.

2008, you were a good friend, and I'm sure I'll never forget you.  (How could I?  I have more than a dozen t-shirts with catchy phrases about Gradu oh eight ing and such...)

Welcome, 2009.  You've got some big shoes to fill.

<3 spadeALLcross